Easier to Forgive or be Forgiven?

WITTINGLY OR UNWITTINGLY, we have to see forgiveness in relation to justice, which is just as difficult to define as forgiveness?

Is it easier to forgive or be forgiven?

But first, my attempt to address (somewhat) some of the basic issues raised:

• the validity of forgiveness lies in repentance.
• Lewis Smedes' argument attempts "something that is too unnatural and demanding too much at one go from normal mortals"
• forgiveness in relation to justice
• forgiveness "foisted as an unconditional fast forward response in real life - even getting foisted upon criminals!"

The moral triumphs and failures of leaders carry a greater weight and volume than those of us, ordinary folk. The late Pope John Paul II - a spiritual leader whose influence will linger for generations - is widely perceived to embody and personify something utterly central to what Christianity is supposed to be. In his forgiveness of Mehmet Ali Agca, we see morality magnified. He is, you might say, a MODEL on forgiveness.

reconciliation

John John Paul II forgave Agca even as he was rushed off to the hospital that day in 1981- long before their meeting two and a half years later. We do not know that Agca was impenitent when they met in his prison cell.

"what we talked about will have to remain a secret between him and me...

I spoke to him as a brother whom I have pardoned,

and who has my complete trust."

We see Muslims ask forgiveness of one another during Hari Raya. As well, in Judaism, forgiveness is seen as one of the principal attributes of God that people are expected to emulate. Certainly, Christians see forgiveness as the absolute core of the religion. And, doubtless, Buddhists, Hindus and people of other faiths also see forgiveness as a much valued virtue.

And from a non-religious viewpoint, what virtues mesh with the ethic of sympathy? Forgiveness would definitely be an important candidate.

In Judaism, for example, certain offenses are seen as not being forgivable. A severe offense like murder would certainly qualify. Relatedly, Judaism teaches forgiveness is somewhat dependent on repentance, that only the actual person who was offended has the right to forgive. On Yom Kippur, the Jewish Holiday - Jews traditionally go around asking people for forgiveness before the holiday, because Judaism teaches that God cannot forgive you for things that you did to other people, UNLESS they forgive you first. So forgiveness is not really free as such.

Which is not to say Christianity offers forgiveness mechanistically or without thinking.

Forgiveness is not something that can be granted lightly, as if the wrong done were of little consequence. Damage has been done, someone has suffered physical injury, or just as likely an injury to the soul . . . ingratitude, the rejection or betrayal of love, angry words that rankle in the mind. The person who is determined to forgive has to swallow a bitter pill. He has to remain steadfast in his love, even when it has been spurned.

Something too is demanded of the person forgiven. Forgiveness involves two parties; the forgiver and the forgiven. An acknowledgement of the wrong that has been done and a genuine repentance is required.

When one party has the grace to offer forgiveness, a great onus is laid on the other party to respond. For to accept forgiveness means to confess one's guilt or share of guilt and to repent. We have to humble ourselves to be forgiven.

Do we have to see forgiveness in relation to justice, which is just as difficult to define as forgiveness?