Uplug The Idiot

WEREN'T THEY CLEVER to have come up with this Networked Intelligence Loo?

It has built-in scales, a urine analyser and meters to measure your blood pressure and body-fat. The data gets ‘provisionally saved’ before being transferred via a home network to your PC, where it’s stored and graphed using a piece of software that’ll also use the data to give you dietary advice, bla… bla…

Oh hey, Yamaha also came up with something as clever as that.

With this soundproof wooden box, they've made significant inroad into marketing solutions for our most important human need - privacy. Comes in three variations and priced from USD4,200.

It's a real neat and nifty way to deal with annoying and noisy husbands, say The Australian and Times Online.

So, let's see. It could be a comfy confinement or meditation cell, a cool hangout or panic-room for:

* Your angsty, anti-social teenager who cannot communicate in anything but grunts, who surreptitiously surfs porn sites or otherwise insists on playing loud music at ungodly hours

* Your nerdy, geeky or sweet goody-two-shoes kid desparately trying to make it through exam hell-week

* Your pesky, screaming shitty prepubescent brats who need to be confined to limit damage to lives and property.

* Insufferable tech-stuff-hogging mates

* Violent, abusive, manic and definitely unlovely PMS-afflicted partners.

* Absolutely unloveable tone-deaf or otherwise musically challenged but unbelievably determined-as-a-tank wannabe artists

* Harried moms and wives - this is your sanctuary from demanding menopausal hubby and whiny kids. Me thinks it needs a little fridge though... and a coffee maker... and... :D

* Or the discerning serial killer...

People who don't own their own digs, this could be your studio within your room.

This can also be the pop-up-n-pack-up guestroom in your tiny-no-spare-room hovel. It can stand in the corner of your average-sized living room.

Just imagine: a private 2.5 square meter den which has the functions of a study, cinema and shed, albeit on a cramped scale. Just you and your PC, (ethernet and telephone optional), all alone, popping popcorn and watching movies…

Shut out them out.

Or lock them up.

Those idiots who so unfortunately, are a part of your life.

Ahh... we are getting cleverer by the day, aren't we?.

In a plug-n-play world, with increasingly snappy and compact solutions for every conceivable and perceivable problem, who needs to grow up and leave home?

Who needs to adjust, accommodate and endure so-called loved ones?

Who even needs anybody to be significant others in their lives?

Just unplug yourself from these insufferable idiots.

Wait, why not unplug the idiot in you first.